I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
