If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
