Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
