If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
