I need help removing her.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The power of my boobs compel you
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
