Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
