I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
