Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
