You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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