my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
