Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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