I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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