i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
