yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
