She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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