if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i dont even know how to be here
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
