My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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