apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
