just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I could fuck to npr.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
