I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
