Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Vodka?
Forever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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