I love black thongs
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
