Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
