My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
