Yo dont text me then not text me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
