I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
