I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize