I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
