Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
