i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
we should paint friendship bongs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
