why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
