you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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