so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am mentally ready for anal.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
