I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
how drunk are you?
Several
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
