They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
