You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
