the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
