can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
