Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
