All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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