During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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