Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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