And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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