So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
