the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
