So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize