it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
