Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
