you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
