Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?

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(614): View more from Ohio

I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.

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(386): View more from Florida

Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots

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