ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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