Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
