READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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