return my video game
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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