I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
When are your genitals available?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
