But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
