where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
