Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
