sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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