so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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