I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
