Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
