I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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