how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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