Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize