Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
