I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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