I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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